Novafest Change of Plans
Get Pumped for Gerberfest!
Jon Mattise
Issue date: 4/18/07 Section: Cabbage
And you thought the Goo Goo Dolls were a 90's pop band.
In a surprising move, Villanova came to terms with Gerber, Baby Gap and Toys R Us for corporate sponsorship for this weekend's NovaFest. Significant changes to the weekend's acts and attractions immediately ensued. It all started when the Goo Goo Dolls - thought by the administration to be the band behind the inspirational Kidz Bop mixes - got canned for a Baby Beluga of an act, children's lyricist supreme Raffi.
"Everybody loves Raffi. He's like Will Smith, he doesn't need to curse in his music to be successful," said a Baby Gap publicist that helped usher in the deal. "Baby Beluga, Bananaphone, Joshua Giraffe. It's a wonder we were able to get him."
School officials were wary that the comedian act could potentially be a profanity-laden repeat of Dane Cook two years ago. Their solution had a big red nose and a knack for balloon animals.
"When I heard Bozo the Clown was gonna show up, I was a little confused," said junior Lappy Toppletine. "But as long as he can pull a handkerchief out of his sleeve I'm pumped. And how do all of his clown friends fit in that little car? He's a master of his trade."
According to a source close to Gerber, Sheehan Beach will be turned into a preteen haven of fun. Kegs of Juicy Juice, pony rides, pin the tail on the donkey, sand boxes and freeze tag will provide hours of entertainment. All capped with a school-wide double-elimination tournament of Red Light, Green Light with a top prize of a plastic green kazoo.
Administration made the move to corporate sponsorship when the former theme of Las Vegas was announced.
"Las Vegas means gambling. And what if you win in Las Vegas? You use that money for prostitutes… or so I hear," Gerber-fest advocate Dutch Bingledropling reasoned. "Then everyone's going to see how much money those prostitutes make. Would you want to be the reason two-thirds of Villanova turned into prostitutes? We need to make a stand, and good clean fun, like Motts apple sauce and Dora the Explorer are the way to go."
But even Gerber-fest brought some rough waters. Villanova's Anti-Transfat Task Force nearly convinced administration to call the whole thing off when they randomly tapped a phone call.
"We learned we were offering certain puddings, cookies, and Jello products that registered for traces of trans fat upon testing," Val Daggerheimer, captain of V.A.T.T.F. said in a press conference yesterday. "We came to terms, but it wasn't easy. The last thing we need is a fat-fest."
So bring your sand pails, get ready for a special Connelly Cinema showing of Homeward Bound. And most importantly, play nice this NovaFest.
In a surprising move, Villanova came to terms with Gerber, Baby Gap and Toys R Us for corporate sponsorship for this weekend's NovaFest. Significant changes to the weekend's acts and attractions immediately ensued. It all started when the Goo Goo Dolls - thought by the administration to be the band behind the inspirational Kidz Bop mixes - got canned for a Baby Beluga of an act, children's lyricist supreme Raffi.
"Everybody loves Raffi. He's like Will Smith, he doesn't need to curse in his music to be successful," said a Baby Gap publicist that helped usher in the deal. "Baby Beluga, Bananaphone, Joshua Giraffe. It's a wonder we were able to get him."
School officials were wary that the comedian act could potentially be a profanity-laden repeat of Dane Cook two years ago. Their solution had a big red nose and a knack for balloon animals.
"When I heard Bozo the Clown was gonna show up, I was a little confused," said junior Lappy Toppletine. "But as long as he can pull a handkerchief out of his sleeve I'm pumped. And how do all of his clown friends fit in that little car? He's a master of his trade."
According to a source close to Gerber, Sheehan Beach will be turned into a preteen haven of fun. Kegs of Juicy Juice, pony rides, pin the tail on the donkey, sand boxes and freeze tag will provide hours of entertainment. All capped with a school-wide double-elimination tournament of Red Light, Green Light with a top prize of a plastic green kazoo.
Administration made the move to corporate sponsorship when the former theme of Las Vegas was announced.
"Las Vegas means gambling. And what if you win in Las Vegas? You use that money for prostitutes… or so I hear," Gerber-fest advocate Dutch Bingledropling reasoned. "Then everyone's going to see how much money those prostitutes make. Would you want to be the reason two-thirds of Villanova turned into prostitutes? We need to make a stand, and good clean fun, like Motts apple sauce and Dora the Explorer are the way to go."
But even Gerber-fest brought some rough waters. Villanova's Anti-Transfat Task Force nearly convinced administration to call the whole thing off when they randomly tapped a phone call.
"We learned we were offering certain puddings, cookies, and Jello products that registered for traces of trans fat upon testing," Val Daggerheimer, captain of V.A.T.T.F. said in a press conference yesterday. "We came to terms, but it wasn't easy. The last thing we need is a fat-fest."
So bring your sand pails, get ready for a special Connelly Cinema showing of Homeward Bound. And most importantly, play nice this NovaFest.
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